Haunting

I am still not ready to keep living after losing you
But days keep passing by no matter what I say I cannot do
Everything inside of me keeps screaming I should "Give up!"
While everything inside me's screaming "quitting isn't good enough!"
I watch each new dawn break and pass - it takes
the wind right out of me
I fear that this is something I will carry for eternity.
Though I have broken countless walls it seems there’s nowhere I can turn
I see no way to start a fire without letting my whole world burn 
So I have trapped myself with paradoxical morality. 
I love you more than man made words for, yet our love's term'nus tragedy
How do I let go of wonder?
How do I birth life from shame
Or at least live a comfortable cynic?
How could I release your name?