Three oh

Happy 30th birthday, Spaz.
Everything's still really bad.
I'm so tired, I'm so broke,
Moving upward is a joke
Last year we completely cracked
We got retraumatized bad
In every single way I'm trapped
In goals that other people had

It's the third time in my life
That things have felt this dark this long
This time I know I want to live
But hope has simply gone
I disappoint my family
I alienate my friends
I quit smoking cigarettes
And started up again
I painted cards I never mailed
I chartered ships that never sailed
Kat and Wen both had more children
I dropped out of school
And every ounce of sweat I labored for made me a fool

Happy 30th birthday, Princess
Come and get your kiss
Say one thing for Barytron
Say she fuckin' missed.