Non-compete

I’ve never let my ego mar a friendship before
I wanna like you less now every time you best me.
Something gross like noxious nestles in my chest at your successes, 
Although all of them consistently impress me.
You do all the things I do but, I guess, better, and I hate it
When they’re worse your reputation still precedes you!
No one notices I’m there if they make contact with you first
Or includes me if you’re around, pathetic: true. 
Not my friends, hobbies, or partner
You don’t even play an instrument! 
And I only play four, but sure, it’s fine
I don’t want to be so salty!
I like everything about you!
But there’s something evil twitching in my mind. 
Trying hard to find the “fair” in art, and love and war and poetry
And when I can’t I panicked want to die. 
So I know it’s not your fault that you’re so great and I’m neurotic
But,still, I’d bleed to catch a freakin’ break sometime!